So I realize that there are somethings in this lifetime that aren't meant to be answered:
Stonehenge
Mayan Calendar of destruction
Why the British drive on the left side and not the right
But truly and honestly, why can't there be answers to the questions that really should be answered? I'm not saying that we need to know everything, but knowing something is better than knowing nothing.
Lao Tzu said:
"We make doors and windows for a room;
But it is these empty spaces that make the room livable."
We're not supposed to understand everything, sometimes what we don't know is more important that what we do. But can someone please answer my questions? They're not that important so it probably wouldn't change the world if they were answered.
Why of all things am I Asperger?
I realize that's a really trivial thing to ask, but seriously? I never asked for it and sometimes, I'm proud to be Asperger. But lately, it's really hit me that everything I do in this life affects me differently than everyone else. It's finals week, most students are studying their brains out for a night or two and then partying with their friends. Me? I'm stressed to the point of a nutcase, but what am I doing? Trying to figure out the best way to ignore the fact that I'm stressed.
If so many people go through the same fears and emotions I do, then why do I feel so alone?
Yeah, I get it. It's a typical selfcentered question to ask, but this time it's legitimate. I have yet to meet an individual, much less a woman who knows how hard it is to be Asperger. Someone who understands what it's like to have your insides freeze up on you and you can't do anything about it because you're too afriad of doing something wrong. Someone who understands the selfdestructive desire that lurks beneath the surface all the time, waiting for the right moment to jump out at you. Is that too much to ask for?
Lao Tzu said:
"Vast is Heaven's net;
Sparse- meshed it is, and yet
Nothing can slip through it."
If this is true, then there should be answers. But there aren't any. At least, I haven't found any. Yet.
